The Barker's Blog

Freak of the Week #8 - Lionel the Lion-Faced Man

2007-11-19T18:28:00.000-05:00

Stephan Bribowski, better known as Lionel the Lion-Faced Man, sure wasn't cowardly about plying his fur trade to audiences around the world!

Born 1891 in Warsaw, Poland, Lionel was covered in a one-inch layer of hair from moment one! According to Circus myth, Lionel's mother had seen his father shred to bits by lions while pregnant, and the trauma so affected her that it deformed her child!

Of course, the real reason was much simpler. Stephan/Lionel was born with Hypertrichosis. According to the lore, however, Lionel's Mom considered him an abomination, and gave him up to a German exhibitor named "Meyer" when he was only four years old. "Meyer" gave Stephan the name Lionel, and began exhibiting him around Europe.

By that time, Lionel's facial hair had grown to eight inches long (not even the least bit of skin was visible), and four inches long everywhere else on his body. The only places not covered with hair were the palms of his hands, and the soles of his feet. He also only had two natural teeth, another birth oddity.

Lionel came to America in 1901 and began appearing with the Barnum & Bailey Circus.

Lionel performed leaping and bounding gymnastics in his stage performances, and spoke to the audience in a cultured manner to display a gentler side. Regarded as a perfect gentleman, and well-dressed, Lionel was very educated, and spoke five different languages.

In 1920 Lionel emigrated to the US, and became a very popular stateside attraction, appearing at Coney Island for a spell.

During his career Lionel earned upwards of $500 a week for his shows, a hefty sum for the time.

In the late 1920s, Lionel gave up the bright lights and glamour of showbiz and moved back to Germany. In 1932 he passed from a heart attack while staying in Berlin, just missing the rise of a political group which almost surely would have had him euthanized. Lionel was never married.

It's unknown whether Lionel ever associated with any Tin Woodsmen, Scarecrows, or lost little girls.

Freak of the Week #7 - Chang and Eng

2007-11-14T12:46:00.000-05:00

But do you recall...the most famous conjoined twins of all?

Oh, what a storied life these symbiotic siblings led!

Chang and Eng Bunker, born May 11 1811 near Bangkok in mystical Siam, were bound together by a thick, fibrous band connecting them at their stomachs. Doctors suggested they be separated, but their parents chose to keep them entwined, and taught them how to work together. Exercising every day to stretch the fleshy tube, the brothers eventually stretched it to three inches in length, learning to stand side-by-side, dress, walk and run, and even SWIM!

Their father passed in 1819, leaving the two eight-year-olds to fend for themselves. They made and sold coconut oil, sold duck eggs to ships in the harbor, rowing to each ship in their synchronous way. As they grew older their fame spread throughout Siam and they were known as "The Chinese Twins," visited by Siam's King (and his !700! wives), until in 1829 they were "discovered" by captain Robert Hunter and displayed on a worldwide tour. After their contract was up they embarked on the oddities business under their own counsel.

By 1838 the men were exhausted form touring, and decided to retire with their accumulated wealth. They adopted American citizenship and took the surname Bunker, after a friend from Boston. Chang and Eng purchased a plantation in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, including slaves (33 of them), and settled down. They were engaged to Adelaide and Sarah Ann (or Sally) Yates, and were scheduled to marry the girls, but the local yokels disapproved of the engagement and even threatened the brothers. Fearful of double homicide, the brothers arranged for a separation surgery, even if it meant it might kill them both - but Adelaide and Sally stepped in before the operation and married the twins in a quick double-wedding ceremony. One couple bought a farm next to the brothers' plantation and the brothers built separate houses and raised tobacco. They spent alternating nights with their wives in their own houses - together fathering 22 children (10 were Chang's, 12 were Eng's). Several of the children died in infancy or early childhood.

In 1860 the brothers decided to come out of retirement to raise money for the college tuition of their swelling clan. In October of that year, they began a six-week show at P.T. Barnum's American Museum.

Barnum didn't care much for the twins. Unlike his friendly relationships with other oddities, Barnum had no personal control over the brothers or their families.

"The truth is," Barnum wrote in a private note, "the wives of the twins (who are sisters) fight like cats and dogs and want their husband separated."

And Chang was drinking heavily, coming to dislike the straight-edged Eng. From a newspaper account at the time, the twins were found fighting in their sleeping room at the museum, Chang choking Eng.

After the tour was over, the brothers returned home just in time for the Civil War. Chang's son Christopher and Eng's son Stephen both fought for the Confederacy, which brought considerable derision from the North in the years after the war was over. In 1865, broke from the war, the brothers came out retirement once more to tour the lucrative Northern circuits.

In 1868 the paired with Barnum one last time, reportedly sent on a tour of Britain to find a surgeon who might finally separate them. That never happened.

In 1870 Chang suffered a stroke, and for the next four years had to be carried by his brother Eng.

On January 17, 1874, Chang died in his sleep. Eng awakened to find his brother dead, and called for the wives to help him. They sent for a surgeon to try and perform an emergency separation, but Eng died four hours later, before the doctor arrived.

Their fused liver is on display in the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where it is exhibited alongside a plaster death-cast of the twins.

I wonder - if one of the twins went to Hell, and the other went to Heaven, how exactly are they scheduling that in the afterlife?

Freak of the Week #6 - Maurice Tillet, "The French Angel!"

2007-11-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

With a face which would stop Billy Goats from crossing bridges, but a gentle heart, Maurice Tillet overcame crippling physical obstacles and grappled with fate to become a star on the wrestling circuit!

original freakStomp illustration by RelleR; click to enlarge

Born in France circa 1910, Maurice was an extremely intelligent young man, speaking 14 different languages! And, wouldn't ya know it - he was also a poet, as well as an aspiring actor!

But, in his twenties, Maurice developed acromegaly, a rare disease that causes human bones to grow and distort into abnormal proportions (a contemporary wrestler with this disease went by the name of Andre The Giant).

Much pain and suffering came along for the ride, and his appearance led to ridicule, causing him to flee his native home.

Smart Maurice made the leap to America, where he turned his affliction into cash by becoming a wrestler, where he was given the description "The Freak Ogre of the Ring!"

His "heel" persona of The French Angel was an immediate hit for wrestling marks, and on August 1, 1944 Maurice had a career pinnacle with his defeat of Steve "Crusher" Casey for the American Wrestling Association World championship!

The French Angel lived a solitary life afterwards, although he did befriend a few people, including businessman Patrick Kelly, whom he would visit in Braintree, Massachusetts and play chess together.

Maurice passed at age 51 in 1955 from heart disease. He was asked on his death bed by fellow wrestler Bobby Managoff if a life mask could be made of his unusual visage. A plaster form was made, and three masks were made from the mold. One was given to Milo Steinborn, while the other two two ended up with Tillet's good friend Patrick Kelly. Steinborn donated his mask to the York Barbell Museum (USA Weightlifting Hall of Fame in York, Pennsylvania, on display in the strongman/wrestling section). One of the other two masks sat on Kelly's office desks for years, while the final mask was donated to the International Wrestling Museum in Iowa.

A life-sized bust of The French Angel Maurice Tillet (made in 1950 by Louis Linck) resides at the International Museum of Surgical Science in Chicago, Illinois.

Now, there's a persistent rumor that Maurice Tillet was the inspiration for the character model of the CGI animated Shrek, but your Barker has not been able to find information which would either confirm or deny this rumor. I'll leave you with a photo comparison, and let you decide for yourself for whom the bell trolls!

Halloween Extra - Mystic #19 - "They Dive By Night"

2007-11-01T00:14:00.000-04:00

Better late as in "not on time" than LATE as in "deceased!"

This last Halloween special final fright was originally published in April 1953 by Atlas Comics! Once again, the credits for this tale have vanished into the ether...

I'll see you all on Monday for a BRAND-NEW "Freak of the Week" featurette!

click to enlarge for reading

There are few things on the internet which suck worse than the Blogger service, kids! It'd be nice if they stopped adding "new features" for a few days and concentrated on making sure the "old features" actually worked!

Halloween Extra - Journey Into Unknown Worlds #26 - "Haunted House"

2007-10-31T23:29:00.000-04:00

Fellow travelers, this bloody blast from the past was published in April 1954 by Atlas! No known art or story credits...perhaps a spectral pen dipped in deep maroon?

I'll try to squeeze in one more killer-diller before the witching hour strikes! Sorry about the tech difficulties, keeds!

Halloween Extra - Forbidden Worlds #22 - "The Cursed Casket"

2007-10-31T19:53:00.000-04:00

HELL -

Oh, kids, and welcome back to another frightful eyeful!

This story is from Forbidden Worlds #22, published in October 1953 by Titan Publishing (or ACG - The American Comics Group). It's entitled "The Cursed Casket, and was illustrated by Bob Forgione!

Enjoy, and I'll see you in another hour!

click each pic to enlarge for reading

Well, kids, your Barker was genuinely trying to entertain you with some bloody fun on the hour every hour, but it turns out Blogger is a complete piece of crap! Image uploading appears to be broken off and on, and internal errors abound! Yet, it still registers the space taken by the images, haha! Oh, yes, it's FREE, so I shouldn't complain, but I'm going to anyway! I'll keep trying to get it all posted, but until I can get it to work more than 25% of the time, keep this little thought in mind:

"Free of charge" is sometimes a kind way of saying "worthless!"

Watch this space for more horror throughout the night!

Halloween Extra - Astonishing #4 - "The Nightmare"

2007-10-31T17:14:00.000-04:00

Here's the deal-ee-OH, creeps and creepettes:

Your Barker LUVS the Halloween, and LUVS U, so every hour from now until Midnight (the bitchin' witchin' hour), he's gonna post up a mess of spine-chilling and heart-thrilling horror tales to grab you by the short hairs!

This first tale is from Astonishing #4, published in June 1951 by Marvel Comics, and is entitled "The Nightmare!" It's by Hank "Chappy" Chapman (Script), and Wayne "Never" Boring (Pencils & Inks)!

Enjoy, and I'll see you in an hour for more!

click each pic to enlarge for reading

Halloween Extra - This Magazine is Haunted #4 - "The Constant Eye"

2007-10-30T20:57:00.000-04:00

Hello, and welcome to another Barker's Blog Halloween Extra!

This scarifying slice of gore is entitled "The Constant Eye," and is from This Magazine is Haunted #4, published by Fawcett in April 1952! The cover (which your Barker has included here because it's Kewl) is by artist Sheldon Moldoff, and the story itself is written and illustrated by Bernard Baily (who was also co-creator of the 1940s supernatural superhero The Spectre!)

You can find out more about This Magazine is Haunted by clicking this link!

Eye'll see all of you tomorrow for the big Halloween Special finisher!

click each pic to enlarge for reading!

Halloween Extra - Weird Chills #1 - "The Man Who Never Smiled"

2007-10-29T09:54:00.000-04:00

Hello, my good cats! In celebration of ~~making bail~~ Halloween, your Barker's got a selection of gruesome classic comic stories from now through October 31st!

Our first bloody blast comes from Weird Chills #1, published in July 1954 by Key Publications!

It's a short-but-never-sweet tale illustrated by legendary weirdo artist Basil Wolverton, entitled "The Man Who Never Smiled!"

Enjoy, and I'll be back with more on Tuesday!

click each picture to enlarge for reading!

Apologies and the Fall Schedule

2007-10-22T12:35:00.000-04:00

Sorry I've been missing, kids - your Barker had to ~~flee redneck justice~~ embark on an impromptu south-of-the-border vacation for a few days, and while there discovered that Tijuana can be just as uptight about archaic morals and laws. I ask you, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, what's a little duct tape and Chloroform amongst friends?

As you know, the Fall season is the busy season for the traveling Carnival and Circus. So, it's with a heavy heart and a light pocket that I must inform you of an adjustment in posting frequency here at The Barker's Blog throughout the rest of the calendar year. From now until January 2008 we'll be going to a Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. I'll still be here, but in a diminished capacity. After January 1st, we'll try to resume a Monday through Friday regularity.
And, since your Barker is currently posting this ~~by leeching Wi-Fi from a holding cell using his lawyer's laptop~~ while still basking in the Tijuana sun, it will be next Monday, October 29th before I'm able to post again. Everyone needs ~~clemency~~ a vacation once in a while!

I'll see you ~~in seven to ten~~ next Monday!

Tragic Magic #3 - EGGCELLENT

2007-10-16T23:01:00.000-04:00

Here's Trixy the primate hermaphrodite once again, showing us how to get the most out of that empty bottle and egg we all have lying around the house! This one's from Funny Folks #23, published by DC Comics in December 1949 - January 1950!

As a bonus, we get to see DC's line of titles being published in that era, and a list of their "Editorial Advisory Board." That's a lot of smarts coming together for a book about talking squirrels...

Freak of the Week #5 - Eko and Iko, The Men From Mars!

2007-10-15T05:30:00.000-04:00

Willie and George Muse led the kind of life they make movies about, shady ladies and gentle gigolos - well, the kind of life they make slam-bang sideshow attractions out of, anyhow!

click picture to enlarge (original freakStomp illustration by RelleR)

These African-American albino twin brothers were born in the 1890s, and were kidnapped as children by bounty hunters contracting out to a sideshow promoter! Told their mother was dead, the two were resigned to a lifelong fate as carnival attractions!

As they toured, their promoter made them grow their hair out into natty dreadlocks to accentuate their already odd appearance, and in 1922 Al G. Barnes presented them in his circus as "White Ecuadorian Cannibals" under the stage names Eko and Iko.

This act failed (if there's one thing the sideshow has enough of, it's Ecuadorian Cannibals), and they were relabeled "Sheep-Headed Men" - then, after that inevitable failure (sheep-headed men...yeesh), freshly dressed in dapper tuxedos, George and Willie were re-branded the "Ambassadors From Mars" in 1923!

click to enlarge

The brothers traveled with the Barnes Circus and learned to play the mandolin, but evidently they didn't learn how to play "We're In The Money" on it, because the shyster Barnes never paid them!

They toured with Ringling Bros. in the mid-1920s, and their Mother (who'd been alive all this time) finally tracked them down as they passed through their hometown in 1927. She fought and threatened to sue the circus, and the Muse brothers were at long-last free!

They filed a lawsuit in an attempt to recoup back wages, but weren't successful in their attempt to reap the 100,000 dollars they felt they were owed. Instead, they found themselves missing the carnival life (it is addictive, my boils and goils, like chocolate-flavored Crystal Meth), so their personal ambulance chaser got them a small lump-sum payment and a fat contract with a hefty monthly wage!

They made their triumphant return to the freakshow in 1928. During their Madison Square Garden appearances, crowds of 10,000 gawkers watched their act! Their contract allowed them to market and sell their own merchandise, and they became wealthy sheep-headed men from the profits! In the 30s they toured Europe, performing for dignitaries - even the Queen of England!

In 1937 they returned to Ringling, and finally wound down their long careers with the Clyde Beatty Circus in 1961.

Returning home, they settled in a house they'd built for their mother - never marrying, although entertaining many a curious dame.

George Muse passed in 1971. His brother Willie filtered into the ether in 2001, at an incredible 108 years of age!

They're probably together on the Red Planet right now, decked out in spit-and-polish tuxes, playing a tune on the mandolin for their Martian leaders...

Raccoons and Moles Around the Tent Poles!

2007-10-12T21:56:00.000-04:00

Hello, my groping groupies! The Barker has selected another Anthropomorphic (look it up, kid) Adventure for your picto-literature today, featuring The Raccoon Kids and Muggsy the Mole! This one's from Movietown's Animal Antics #45, originally published in July-August 1953 by DC Comics! It's illustrated by a fellow with the absolutely delicious name of Otto Feuer! So, sit back and let the Mole lie to you for a while...

click each picture page to enlarge for reading!

Circus, Sideshow, & Carnival Posters

2007-10-11T23:41:00.000-04:00

A smattering of vintage advertisements to occupy your ocular region...click to enlarge...

Midway Slang #3

2007-10-10T22:57:00.001-04:00

The Barker comes around to your table at the Hash House again, filling up your plate with another heapin' helpin' of linguistic linguini!

Badger Game — This is a con where a "manager" sells some dope the keys to the room of an attractive female carnie, and the dope expects to get all sexed-up! When he gets there, however, all he's going to find is a raging bohunk "husband" or "boyfriend," who's gonna rattle his teeth if he doesn't cough up some dough! There's a slight variation on The Badger Game in the film The Grifters, which we regard around here at Thimbleton's as something of a training video.

Lot Lizard - This is a lady of the evening who works the sidelines of a carnival - never on the actual midway, but maybe the parking lot, or maybe the truck stops along the carny route. Also known as a "Blister Sister," for obvious reasons. Wrap that rascal!

Posing Show - Basically a strip show, where the strippers get around any indecency laws by still posing on stage in recreations of famous works of art. Slick, because you could get yourself a peek or two and feel all cultured about it! There was even a posing show at the 1939 New York World's Fair!

So when you get all worked-up at the Posing Show and feel that urge, for gosh sakes don't buy the keys to a Lot Lizard's room, because that Blister Sister's boyfriend is gonna be behind the door waiting, and the only thing coming out of your pants will be your wallet!

Tragic Magic #2 - Trickin' The Tube!

2007-10-09T21:24:00.000-04:00

Once again, I see a large crowd gathered 'round, hungry for a side dish of trickery to go along with their funnel cakes!

Our dearest, most androgynous simian friend Trixy the Magic Monkey returns this evening, to show us a trick we can play on ourselves using a simple rolled paper tube, as well as some other brain-bending sights! Feel free to print this out and pass it around, sharing the delusion of optical illusion with everyone you know!

This page is from Animal Antics #20, published in May-Jun 1949 by DC Comics! Cross your eyes and dot your T's, or something like that...

click to enlarge to print size

See you tomorrow, Sir and/or Madam!

Freak of the Week #4 - Krao, the Missing Link!

2007-10-08T08:38:00.000-04:00

Whoah, the girl I love, she got long black wavy hair...

Welcome one and all to the fourth installment of freakStomp Novelties Freak of the Week featurette here at The Barker's Blog! Today's tantalizing tease was known on the ciruit as Krao, Darwin's Missing Link!

click to enlarge (original freakStomp illustration by RelleR)

Lady Krao was born in mysterious Siam the year of 1876, and from the moment of her emergence into this world she was completely covered in hair, with the finishing touch being a long downy mane down her back starting between her shoulder blades! A promoter with the modest name of The Great Farini discovered her at age six, and took young Krao on a tour of Europe. From there she ended up in a dime oddities museum in Philadelphia, where she was discovered again by a scout for Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, and signed as a feature attraction!

She was primarily billed as an "Ape Woman" for her luxuriant coat and for her vaguely simian features, but was also billed as "Darwin's Missing Link" to capitalize on a popular debate of the time. In the late 1800s Darwinism was a hot-button issue amongst the populace, and adorable Krao was presented as "Exhibit A" in the case for evolution! It was even claimed that Krao belonged to a race of apish half-humans living in trees, and this claim was bought into by several prominent naturalists and scientists (they don't teach you how to stop being a gullible stooge in university, kids).

Many papers and theses were composed about Krao and her existence as Darwinian evidence, including the 1896 book Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine. Much attention was paid to Krao's "prehensile feet," presented as proof of the evolutionary bridge between human beings and...creatures who can grab things with their toes, I suppose.

Sadly, the reality is never quite as romantic as the myth, and Krao was simply a vivacious young woman with an advanced form of hypertrichosis (excessive body hair). She was of above average intelligence, and spoke several languages.

Unlike other human oddities and living attractions, Krao was never exploited by her promoters - she performed and displayed herself according to her own rules and terms, and lived an independent life outside the sideshow. She spent her last 20 years on Earth living in a private apartment, entertaining guests with her sparkling personality and cooking for them! You might say she had complete freakdom! Well, if you wanted to make an awful pun you might say that, but you know me, I would never make such an awful pun.

She never married, although she had many suitors. Oh, how we danced, Krao and I, under the bright circle of the moon, her back mane a perfect handle for those long, slow dips...

What's that? How old is your Barker? Well, age is relative here at Thimbleton's Circus and Oddities, ladies and gents, but The Barker will always be as old as you need him to be...as old as you need him to be.

Krao passed away from influenza on April 16th, 1926.

Here's a bill for a lecture given on Krao in 1887:

click to enlarge

And here's a picture of Krao as a child, where you can see her "prehensile feet" for yourself:

click to enlarge

Adorable, wasn't she? Well, your Barker always thought so, anyway...

Of Dodos and Frogs and Lions...

2007-10-05T12:41:00.000-04:00

Whenever The Barker sees a couple of kids sneaking under a loose flap to catch a free peek at the Thimbleton extravaganza, he doesn't rat them out! He sees a couple of future carnies there!

However, when The Barker sees a frog and a dodo bird sneaking into the circus, well...he regrets ever taking those brown tabs back in '69!

This week's regular selection of comic perfection comes from the same comic our buddy Trixy came from, Funny Stuff #45, May 1949! The feature characters are Fenimore the Frog and Dodo, trying their best to weasel out of a paid ticket to the big top! Charming and funny, feel free to print it out and share it with your kids...just don't try to explain that "brown tab" remark!

Back on Monday with an All-New Freak of the Week featuring art by Reller and Leo!

Tragic Magic #1

2007-10-04T13:30:00.000-04:00

Friends, yer old pal The Barker has been having so much fun digging through his colossal collection of esoteric comics that he thought he'd just go ahead and declare this "Comix Caravan Week!" Today's selection is from Funny Stuff #45, published in May 1949 by National Comics Publications (better known today as DC Comics). This is also the first in our series of Tragic Magic Tricks, simple prestidigitation you can do with ordinary household objects, which will completely confound co-coworkers and co-inhabitants alike! Trixy the Magic Monkey (who may very well resemble some of your co-workers and co-inhabitants) shows you a basic coin trick to kick things off! Apparently, Trixy has human hands! Freaky-deaky!

There's also a weird ad for collectible dog head toothpaste caps at the bottom of the page (we used to give these away as Bozo Consolation Prizes to dopes who lost a lot of dough playing one of our midway games)!

You'll see Trixy here again from time to time, so be sure to bring her (him? I can never tell) a sack of shell peanuts to show your appreciation!

click to enlarge

Bonus Hump-Day Funnies!

2007-10-03T14:28:00.000-04:00

Kids, The Barker has been busy all day rounding up some future attractions for Thimbleton's down at the bowery, but he didn't forget you! This gag panel starring Uncle Scrooge is from Dell Four-Color #495, published in 1953! Enjoy, and I'll see you tomorrow - after we've fitted that albino meth addict I found with a proper set of fangs!

click to enlarge!

The Marx Brothers At the Circus!

2007-10-02T12:28:00.001-04:00

In 1939, the Marx Brothers - Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Stinko (What, you don't remember him? He usually stood behind Zeppo) went to the Wilson Circus to wreak their special brand of havoc!

PLOT SYNOPSIS

Villainous John Carter, along with his accomplices Goliath The Strong Man (actor Nat Pendleton) and the midget Little Professor Atom (actor Jerry Marenghi, also of Wizard of Oz Lollipop Guild fame), knock out stalwart singing circus owner Jef Wilson (actor/singer Kenny Baker, who was formerly Jack Benny's "Dopey Kid" singer on the radio before Dennis Day took over), and steal his $10,000 bank roll. Wilson's lawyer J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho) arrives, and along with circus performers Antonio (Chico) and Punchy (Harpo) makes a mess of the situation by fumbling every attempt at getting the money back from Goliath, Professor Atom, and Carter's moll Peerless Pauline (actress Eve Arden, whom you may remember as Principal McGee from the 1978 Grease movie). Loophole then cons Mrs. Upjohn (Margaret Dumont) into paying the $10,000 to the Wilson Circus to entertatin the "Newport 400," an upper-class society, instead of a planned orchestra performance led by conductor Jardinet (actor Fritz Feld). Groucho delays Jardinet by accusing him of being the leader of a "Dope Ring," and takes care of the orchestra by having them play on a floating dock - and then cutting loose the ropes! Meanwhile Carter and his gang of carny crooks resort to attempted Big Top Arson, but are stopped by the Marx Brothers, along with Gibraltar the Gorilla (actor Harry Gamorra) - who snatched back the original stolen $10,000!

At the Circus isn't one of the Marx boys' best film efforts, but is still a lot of fun. In his book Groucho and Me, Groucho Marx tells a hilarious story of the actor Harry Gamorra wearing the gorilla suit, which your Barker will excerpt here. It seems that the suit Harry was wearing wasn't properly ventilated, so Harry was inconveniently passing out from the heat of the studio lights quite frequently. When he complained to the suit's owner to no avail, he took it upon himself to take an ice pick and thoroughly ventilate the suit himself. When the owner of the suit found out he threatened to sue the studio, and walked out with the suit. Filming shut down for three days as the production tried to find a new one - with no luck. The Barker will let Groucho take over from here:

At last, the Ape Man, ill at ease outside a furry pelt, tracked down a man in San Diego who had an orangoutang skin. Even a child knows that an orangoutang is much smaller than a gorilla, but strangely enough the Ape Man didn't and he impetouously bought it without trying it on. We gave him every chance to squeeze himself into the skin but it was hopeless. When he finally realized he was too big for the pelt he broke down and cried like a baby gorilla. However, this was no time for sentiment. We were faced with reality, and also with the head of the studio. There was a picture to be finished and we were obliged to engage a smaller monkey man who specialized in impersonating orangoutangs in and around San Diego. Moreover, because of the demands of the Union we had to pay the original Ape Man standby salary, portal to portal, and psychiatric treatment.

Buster Keaton helped work on some of the gags in this picture. Buster had fallen on hard times due to alcohol problems during this period. His complex physical gags did not work well with the Marx brand of humor, and there was ill will between them. When confronted, Buster stated that he was only doing what studio head Mayer told him to do, and that he was fully aware that the Marx boys didn't need his help to be funny.

The movie is perhaps most famous for Groucho's rendition of the catchy tune "Lydia the Tattooed Lady," which you can enjoy below:

Kids, would you like to see the fainting Ape Man in action? Well, below you can catch the climax of the film, featuring some great stunt work on the trapeze by Gibraltar:

If you've enjoyed this featurette, be sure and pick up the Warner box set "The Marx Brothers Collection" - it's only $30.99 at Amazon (click this link), and also features six more Marx Bros. classic films, along with newsreels and trailers and cartoons!

Until tomorrow, I'll see you Un Jour Au Cirque!

Freak of the Week #3 - Pickled Punks!

2007-10-01T08:22:00.000-04:00

Gruesome, ain't it?

click to enlarge

Throughout the long and sordid history of carnival or circus sideshows, one constant attraction has...survived. The Pickled Punk! These preserved portraits of putrescence earned their name because they were often displayed sealed in large pickle jars filled with formaldehyde or other preservatives. Malformed infants, cyclopean animals, two-headed snakes, and other indescribably wretched medical waste, their afflictions broadcast for all eternity on dusty tables and racks in tent corners.

Most of the more heinous displays of nature's brutal sense of humor were saved for the end of nickel-and-dime low-budget sideshows, for what's known as the "Blow-off." The Blow-off is a hidden attraction, one teased throughout the show, covered with a curtain or drape or folding wall. You pay extra valuable dollars to view the blow-off, which would invariably be a disappointing jar of jellied flesh scooped out of a hospital dumpster. Sadly, as there are ever-dwindling numbers of true human oddities and specially gifted individuals in these days of perfection, pickled punks make up the majority of most sideshow attractions.

And 99.9% of the time, they're fake. The molded rubber birth defects, suspended in a brine which obscures molding marks and other amateurish fakery, are called "bouncers."

But you'll never be disappointed or sad at Thimbleton's Circus and Oddities...we live by the old rules here...real living, breathing meat, twisted daily for your amazement...

Freaky Friday Funnies!

2007-09-28T06:34:00.000-04:00

Folks, last week's presentation on National Comics was such a hit on the blog here that The Barker and freakStomp Novelties have decided to make carnival comic stories a reg'lar feature attraction! Every Friday will kick your weekend off right in the shiny seat of your pants with a different comic book story, comic strip, or gag panel with a carnival, circus, or sideshow theme!

This week we continue the adventures of that Other Barker, from National Comics #54, June 1946! This story is titled "The Curse of Raz-Ma-Taz" and features The Barker and his sideshow gang tackling a cursed Mummy! It's wrapped with laffs!

Be sure to click each picture to enlarge them to reading size!

Check back next week, Monday through Friday for more unusual attractions at The Barker's sideshow, brought to you by freakStomp Novelties!

Midway Slang #2

2007-09-27T12:38:00.000-04:00

Once again, Reds and Wolves, The Barker brings you a few examples of carnival lingo to drop into casual conversation! Got a gal or a fella you're trying to lay it on thick with? Well, nothing's more impressive than a mouth filled with slang from times past! They'll think you're "eccentric" and "intriguing" and maybe even "insane!" In any event, this is the language we're dropping all around the Tilt-A-Whirl!

Dark Ride - Know those haunted "train" rides you took through tattered curtain flaps at the county fair? Or the "Haunted House" with bowls of eyeballs and creepy crawlies hiding under the table ready to grab your leg as you stroll past? Well, that's called a "Dark Ride" here at Thimbleton's Circus and Oddities...actually, everything is a dark ride here at Thimbleton's. The animatronic ghouls which caress the nape of your neck as you pass are called "gags."

Gig —This is when a game runner gets greedy, and snatches all a mark's money all at once instead of letting the mark believe he'll win big if he just gives it one more shot. Most carnies look down on this type of trick, as it usually leads to a fight with the mark, or beef with the cops.

The guys running these types of games are usually green and unskilled, and are called Gig Artists.

Hanky-Pank — "Every player wins a prize!" Ever heard that as you walked around crunching your caramel apple? That's what this term means, games with crummy worthless "prizes" which cost about a tenth of the game ticket purchased. You give a prize worth 15 cents for every dollar play, you make 85 cents profit. Hanky-Pank!

The next time you exit a dark ride down at Thimbleton's, be sure to avoid all the Gig artists and head for the Hanky-Pank instead - at least you'll leave with something in your pocket besides lint!

The Kid From Borneo!

2007-09-26T08:21:00.000-04:00

Folks, one of The Barker's favorite leisure-time activities during the off-hours at Thimbleton's is to kick off his sawdust stompers, crank up the old Video Victrola, and relax in his rocker while watching some classic comedy shorts!

The Little Rascals comedy series was produced from 1922 through 1944, with an ever-rotating cast of naturally talented youngsters. Hal Roach Studios produced the series up until 1938, when he sold it to MGM. The series has been called both "Our Gang" and "The Little Rascals" over the years, but the official title of the series is Our Gang. The series produced 221 short features in all.

The Barker and freakStomp Novelties are going to share a classic Our Gang short with you today from 1933, entitled The Kid From Borneo.

In this short, Spanky's wandering Uncle George has returned from travel with a new sideshow attraction, "The Wild Man From Borneo." Spanky's Dad is none too fond of his wife's brother, and refuses to let him in the house! Spanky's Mom sends the kids down to the Carnival to meet George, but since none of them have ever met him, they mistake Bumbo the Wild Man for George! Bumbo's got a sweet tooth and a bottomless stomach, so when he sees Stymie's bag of treats he takes off after them, following them back to Spanky's house, where hilarity ensues!

FUN FACT: The "Kid From Borneo" (or Bumbo) was played by John Lester Johnson, a retired boxer who once went ten rounds with Jack Dempsey in 1916, breaking several of Dempsey's ribs!

We've broken this Abso-Loot-Lee Free-of-Charge show into two segments, so please take that opportunity to buy yourself a fresh bag of popping corn at the Thimbleton concession stand during the intermission between parts!

Yum-Yum, eat 'em up, and enjoy the show!

PART ONE

PART TWO

Tin Toy Alley

2007-09-25T07:58:00.000-04:00

Ah, simpler times.

Your Barker longs for simpler times, ladies and gentlemen. Before the world got wise and cynical, before the internet, a time when there were simple amusements, simple attractions, simple rides, simple games, simple toys...simple rubes who could simply be taken for every dollar in their pockets!

Today The Barker's gonna dig down real deep inside his vast footlocker and unearth something which will take you back to a simpler time, a time where craftsmanship and artistry turned simple cheap metal and paint into complex wonders which brought sparkles to many a child's eye!

Tin toys were staples in toyboxes around the world for many decades. Japan was one of the largest producers of the world's tin toys from the late 1890s up until World War II - after the war, a huge tin toy resurgence began in Occupied Japan, which lasted until the late 1960s, when cheap plastic crap became the norm. Tin toys were mass-produced in assembly lines, but were assembled by hand from many individually stamped parts (some toys were made from upwards of 300 parts!), so there was a personal touch behind each toy which was all but lost when plastic entered the picture.

The following nostalgic images are from the book Robots, Spaceships, & Other Tin Toys: The Teruhisa Kitahara Collection, published by Taschen. The photographs are by Yukio Shimizu.

Although the majority of the book has a Science Fiction theme, your Barker has chosen select pictures of toys with a carnival theme to share with you. I'm afraid the creaky photographic capture and reproductive computer device that The Barker uses can't do the pictures justice, as they're much more striking on paper.

Airship Ferris Wheel produced in the 1920s, unknown maker

Double Ferris Wheel with Swing-boats, 1950s, made by Asahi

Merry-Go-Round, 1950s, made by Line Mar

Coney Island Rocket Ride, 1950s, made by Alps

If you enjoyed this brief trip to the past, and are interested in seeing more crazy tin toys from yesteryear (it's a 350 page book), then please visit http://www.taschen.com/ to purchase the book - it's only $12.99 in hardcover! Taschen publishes many affordable, unique art books for your visual pleasure.

And speaking of visual pleasure...be sure to look me up tomorrow, folks!

Freak of the Week #2 - Three Ball Charlie

2007-09-24T08:30:00.000-04:00

Say there, buckeroos, how many balls can you fit in your mouth?

Getcher mind outta the gutter, kid! Your ever-humble Barker is only talking about Billiard Balls!

This fellow with a set of snappers suited for elastic mastication was known in the sideshow world as THREE BALL CHARLIE.

(click pic to enlarge)

Charlie hailed from Humbolt, Nebraska, and worked carnival sideshows in the 1930s. Charlie could stuff a Golf Ball, a Tennis Ball, and a Billiard Ball into his cavernous maw, then whistle a tune for you as he balanced on top of several balls while juggling even more balls at the same time!

Charlie must've had a lotta balls to perform an act like that! I'm sure he was mentally stable, but his jawbone was sure unhinged!

I'm Seein' Double!

2007-09-21T07:30:00.000-04:00

Folks, your old buddy The Barker isn't the only character who scribbles that name on his sticker tag at the ~~AA meetings~~ Carny Conventions!

In National Comics, a Quality Comics publication from the Golden Age (1938-1950ish) of comic books, a character by the name of The Barker was introduced in issue #42, May 1944. Previously this fine publication's feature character had been Uncle Sam (!), a superheroized version of the recruiting poster image! But as the world war wore down, Uncle Sam slipped from the front cover to fade away like a good little old soldier in the back of the book, making way for the carnival thrills and humor of Carnie Callahan, The Barker! The Barker was a humor-adventure strip created by artist Jack Cole, also creator of the legendary and groundbreaking humor superhero Plastic Man (and later, the very first cheesecake cartoonist for Hugh Heffner's Playboy Magazine - Va-Va-Va-Voom), but the strip was soon taken over by the talented artist Klaus Nordling - who wrote penciled, and inked every bigtop adventure by himself!

Although the humor might seem a little brittle and squeaky-clean in this day and age, the artwork remains outstanding and timeless, so from time to time your personal Barker here at Thimbleton's is gonna reach into his trunk locker, dust off a copy of National Comics from his collection (your Barker collects many different...things, kiddies), and share a peek into the pasteurized past with a blast from the Other Barker!

This story is from National Comics #53, first published in April 1946. Art and story by Klaus Nordling. Click each picture to enlarge to reading size!

Look for more comics, stories, pictures, and general weirdness from your Barker here at the blog, every Monday through Friday!

NEXT WEEK:

All-New Freak of the Week on Monday, I'll teach you how to do a magic trick to astound your friends and bamboozle your enemies, a featurette on Clyde Beatty - star of the cliffhanger serials, and much more! See you then!

Coming Repulsions!

2007-09-20T07:08:00.000-04:00

Kids, The Barker scours the worldwide web every day for you in search of oddities, and today he's found a dilly! The following is a trailer (oh, I do love trailers, those nights in the rear of the carnival, after hours, all sorts of things happen in the trailers when the lights go dim...but this isn't that kind of trailer) from a troupe called The Unholy Sideshow promoting their upcoming cinematic masterpiece entitled...well, The Unholy Sideshow.

It has Freaks, Zombies, a Sideshow Geek, Dr. Demento and Rob Zombie look-alikes, and all the wretched acting you've come to expect from an extremely low-budget independent film! Your Barker thinks it's fantastic!

So settle in, grab a tub of stale popcorn drenched with the liquid yellow death of synthetic butter, and enjoy these piercing visuals from The Unholy Sideshow!

Midway Slang #1

2007-09-19T06:40:00.000-04:00

As we drift together through the melancholy dunes of sawdust here at Thimbleton's, we whisper to each other in passing in the ancient language of the Carny. Your old (how old am I? If you guess my age and weight, I'll give you a prize!) pal The Barker speaks in many tongues, but the tongue which slips across the sugary skin of candied apples is his favorite! And now I'll share some of that doublespeak with you, from time to time...try to work it into everyday conversations, kid. For instance, when you're trying to land that big fish on your latest telemarketing scam! Your boss'll love you for it. Well, I will, anyway...

The Advance Man — This is the slicker who takes care of all the busywork such as licenses and paying sponsors before our carny trailers roar through your main streets. Sometimes he greases a lot of official palms to "look the other way" during our stay in your cozy, honest little town.

BC — This is a shorthand warning from one worker to another to knock it off, shut it down, cease whatever it is you're doing! To Be Cool. Maybe an incorruptible sheriff is giving you the eye from around the corner and you don't notice; maybe some rough redneck is winding up to crunch a fist into your Adam's Apple while you're busy skimming all the money out of his dear old Granny's coin purse - whatever it is, Buster, you better BC and drop it until you find out for sure!

Peek the Poke — This is when an operator of a "game" uses a sidekick to look through the group gathered round, and pick out potential players with plenty of money so those folks can be set up for the pinch!

Be sure to have your Advance Man take care of business, so you won't have to BC if your buddy gets busted Peeking the Poke!

The Mysterious Mansion of Mania!

2007-09-18T06:30:00.000-04:00

Step right this way, Cats and Kittens, Chicks and Peeps, as freakStomp continues our neverending worldwide tour of the Peculiar!

Behind this flap you'll find the truly eerie tale of a woman so tormented by the ghosts of her family's past that she devoted her life to escaping them by altering the very house she lived in!

This, friends, is Sarah Winchester:

Does the last name sound familiar to you? If you're a God-fearin', red-blooded rootin'-tootin' rifle-shootin' American, it should! Sarah Winchester is the wife of William Wirt Winchester, of the Winchester Repeating Arms family name, manufacturers of high-velocity death for centuries!

Legend has it that after the deaths of her daughter Annie in 1866 and husband Willie in 1881, mournful Sarah sought comfort in the visions of a Medium. This shadowy Medium informed the Widow Winchester of a curse on the Winchester family name, due to the many cemetery plots filled with those unfortunate enough to have been the focal point of a Winchester gun barrel. "Thousands of people have died because of it and their spirits are now seeking vengeance," The Medium warned Sarah, no doubt while holding her hand over a candelit table shrouded in muslin cloth!

Now, here's where the history becomes a bit muddy, and as it happens here at freakStomp Novelties we specialize in muddy histories...The Medium may or may not have then told Sarah she had to travel West, where:

"You must build a home for yourself and for the spirits who have fallen from this terrible weapon, too. You can never stop building the house. If you continue building, you will live. Stop and you will die."

Is it true? Did this clairvoyant indeed pass these grave instructions on to a guilt-stricken Sarah? Did such a ghostly vision of the future appear in her mind? Does it matter? No! We here at freakStomp Novelties live by the saying "If it sounds true, and feels true, it must be a lie -but lies are always more interesting, anyway."

The fact remains that Sarah did pull up stakes and head West to San Jose, California, where she began construction on what is known today as the Winchester Mystery House. Construction went on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every day of every year for 38 years, until Sarah's soul shot like a bullet into the void on September 5th, 1922.

Before the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake, the Winchester House grew to seven stories tall! Now it stands at four. The house and outer buildings spread across 4.5 acres, giving plenty of leg room to your average spectre. Sarah used her 50% ownership in Winchester Arms, as well as her $20 Million Dollar inheritance, to fund the endless construction of this winding, maze-like spirit trap.

Marvel at these astonishing facts about this unusual abode:

There are 160 rooms, with 40 bedrooms, and 2 ballrooms...for those occasions when the bullet-riddled corpses rise from their graves and wish to boogie down
2 basements, enough to hide all those damp, musty secrets and skeletons

47 fireplaces, to keep it hotter than Hell

17 chimneys, which must have frustrated Santa to no end

5 Kitchens, for the dead constantly hunger

40 staircases, many of which lead nowhere, some of which lead into the ceiling

52 skylights

2000 oddly-shaped cupboards, some as small as an inch deep

10,000 windows

950 doors, some of which open into solid walls

3 elevators

1 shower

20,ooo gallons of paint were required to cover the expanse. By the time the last section was finished, the painters had to start back over from the beginning! Sarah considered the number 13 and Spider Webs to both be lucky symbols, so you'll find these themes throughout the house (coat hooks are always in sets of 13, a chandelier has 13 candleholders, there is a spider-web patterned Tiffany Glass window set with 13 colored stones).

Triggered by guilt, fired by compulsion, Sarah played Russian Roulette with carpentry for the rest of her life! Shoot, leading those haunts on a snipe hunt must have been a blast!

As you leave for today and exit into the main carnival thoroughfair, dear audience, keep in mind this sage nugget of wisdom: Guns don't kill people...unless you remember to take the safety off! Lock and load!

Freak of the Week #1 - Pasqual Pinon

2007-09-17T07:05:00.000-04:00

Welcome to freakStomp's Freak of the Week, a weekly feature celebrating the unusual human conditions which, through nature's whim or sheer fabrication, amused, mystified, and startled audiences throughout the ages!

As we draw the curtains back for this first oddity, I must remind you that no flash photography is allowed! Autographed photos of our attractions can be arranged through seance at the end of the tour...

Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present for your puzzlement Mr. Pasqual Pinon, the Two-Headed Mexican:

(click the pic to enlarge)

Listen closely as we weave the convoluted and melancholy tale of our doubly strange friend..

While no exact date can be verified, Pasqual Pinon is said to have been birthed in the year 1862. As told on stage while his parasitic twin stared motionless at the astounded audience, Pinon lost the family ranch to legendary bandito revolutionary Pancho Villa, and fled Mexico thereafter. The twin, which once was as spry and lively as you or I, had been frozen into place due to a stroke Pasqual suffered at the age of twenty. If you doubted the authenticity of the double header, Pasqual would lift the neck of his "brother," showing you the "neck" attached to his forehead. Paqual himself was not much of an entertainer, and would sit patiently showing his sibling from every angle while an interlocutor such as yours truly spun his biography and fielded questions from the audience. Pasqual supported his family of seven (he had twice the sex drive of normal men!) for two years, touring the country with the Sells-Floto Circus.

And living a lie...

The truth underneath the expressionless features of his second head was just as interesting (and convoluted), though, don't you worry!

A sideshow promoter discovered Pinon splitting rails in Texas back in 1917. He found Pinon's tumor to be striking in size, but needing that extra touch to...bring it to life. There are two versions of the tale which branch from here:

A fake face sculpted from wax was placed over the tumor's peak, hair arranged around it so that it appeared natural.

A metal (silver, so some versions go) plate with a nose structure and facial features was surgically implanted underneath the skin of the tumor, and makeup was applied to the resulting blank "face."

The biggest mistake the sideshow promoters made in this ruse was that in all cases of parasitic twins connected at the skull (craniopagus parasiticus in medical terms), the secondary head is always upside-down!

Whichever version of the fakery you choose to believe, after two years Pasqual began to deteriorate mentally (some even say the silver face plate was compressing his brain!), and the Sells-Floto manager paid to have the tumor removed. Pinon retired to a normal life, and no information exists as to what became of him. In any event, it must have been a load off his mind...

Come One, Come All...

2007-09-17T07:01:00.000-04:00

Sidle right up to the stagefront, ducks and chicks (no pushing, lady), and peel an eye towards your new best friend The Barker (that's me, and don't worry, I'll peel your ears for ya) as I lay it all down!

Welcome to the Graaaaaaaaaaaaand Opening of freakStomp Novelties official blog, The Barker's Blog! Every Monday thru Friday (weekends off so I can lose them, it's in my contract) I'll be pitching some entertainment your way, along with a liberal sprinkling of capitalistic greed!

If you were lucky enough to take a gander at our Secret Post (which has been up here all by its lonesome for over a month), you have an inkling - but if you weren't, let me inkle you right now! Cast your gaze to the post directly below this one for what you can expect from myself and the freakStomp gang over the coming days, weeks, months...forever, even.

And what do we expect in return for all this top-notch hopscotch? NOTHING!

Well, far be it for me, a simple carnival pitchman, to try and sell you things, but if you have some cash, and you maybe wanna exchange some of it for goods, then maybe you could click on the link below and check out our ebay store, if you feel like it:

http://stores.ebay.com/freakstomp-novelties

There's lots of neato keeno stuff there already, and there'll be even neato-er keeno-er things soon to come, in many colors, shapes, and sizes!

And if you do buy something from us, send us a picture of yourself via the email address in my profile, along with a little info about yourself (website you want to plug, etc.), and we'll add you to our "Friends of freakStomp" category! It's almost like instant fame, without all the pressures of being an actual celebrity!

How was that pitch? Soft enough for ya?

And now, without further adieu (and oh, how I do), let's get on with the show!

Oh, you clever boys and girls...

2007-08-17T18:07:00.000-04:00

You've discovered the most secret of secrets! It's treasure, in prose form! Yes indeed, my fine feathered friends, this is a work in progress that you've stumbled upon!

This is freakStomp Novelties official blog, before the blog becomes official! We're tinkering with the layout, tinkering with the format, tinkering with the tinkering! This blog will mold itself and change over the coming days, until it is officially official in all the official ways it should officially be!

Let me tell you more secrets. Lean closer, sons and daughters, I have to whisper...

These are just a few of the brass rings you can grab as you ride the carousel horses:

BEHIND THE SCENES - yes, we're opening the flaps of the sideshow to you, our dearest and closest friends, and letting you peer into the workings of our jumbled minds! There will be story notes, preliminary sketches, chat logs, and so much more! We expose our breasts to you and allow you to watch our hearts pound against the skin!
CONTESTS - oh yes, there will be prizing! Treasure much more valuable than the toxic Kewpie dolls from Thimbleton's carnival games! Very little in the way of entry requirements, and much in the way of free things for your neighbors to covet! Share them with your special friends, and taunt your special enemies!
STRANGE AND EXOTIC NEWS AND LINKS: From all over the globe, delivered into your hot little hands by your modest host!
THE freakStomp PODCAST: Our Revival Tent will be open for Town Hall Discussion sooner than you think!
PICTURES AND VIDEO - transmitted to your Barker straight from the travels of BJ, Leo, and Clootie! See the world through their eyes!
COMMUNITY GATHERINGS - Yes, this blog may be hosted by your Barker, but it belongs to you, and we'll be featuring the more unusual among you right here in living Technicolor photographs and flowery prose!
FREAK OF THE WEEK - Our weekly featurette spotlighting real human oddities throughout history, told in a respectful manner, with photographs and links and original artwork! Open your mind and celebrate the unusual with The inHumane Society!

Oh, and there's more, much more. Once you purchase a ticket, once you stroll through the fairway, your ticket is good for life! You may never want to leave...and we may never let you...

See you soon, children of all ages...